So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
