Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
