i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
