between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
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