i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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