glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
