Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
