we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
