i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
