Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
