Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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