I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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