I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have aggressive nipples.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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