dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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