Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
