quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
