She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
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battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
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you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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