Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
