i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
