what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
