YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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