Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
