I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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