I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
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We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
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I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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