I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
