after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
