Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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