like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
