Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
how does that bad decision feel?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
