If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
