My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
