you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
