He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize