The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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