I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize