I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Randomize
