i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
