oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
