CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Success! We fucked roommates!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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