Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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