fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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