thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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