I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
