We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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