I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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