Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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