susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
