Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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