I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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