Is it normal to miss your booty call?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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