I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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