So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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