yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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