The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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