As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
