We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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