shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
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I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
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I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!