I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick