So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm