why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
