just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
