Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize