carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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