You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
